Sugar Dating: What are the Dangers of this Type of Arrangement? (2024)

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Student loan debt in the United States totals around $1.71 trillion and grows six times faster than the country’s economy. As a result, college students struggle to make ends meet while pursuing an education to pay off those debts later. Because minimum-wage jobs available to students don’t meet the current cost of living, a growing number of students are turning to a non-traditional method of obtaining resources to make ends meet. This phenomenon is known as sugar dating, a mutually beneficial relationship between a sugar daddy— a wealthy older male interested in providing a financial resource for his partner— and a sugar baby— younger women interested in this type of relationship.

What is Sugar Dating?

Sugar dating is a transactional dating practice typically characterized by an older, wealthier person and a younger person in need of financial assistance in a mutually beneficial relationship. Sugar dating is posed as a safe, alternative balance of school and working one or multiple part-time jobs.

What’s problematic about the business model is that it is typically targeted to younger, low-income individuals that may be looking for financial assistance. However, the danger of situations as such is that they often lead to a variety of forms of manipulation and sexual exploitation.

Sugar dating can involve scenarios of harassment, sexual assault, and the manipulation of financial arrangements to coerce unwanted sexual action— also known as rape. “Sugar dating” isn’t safe, and it isn’t an empowering system— it is inherently exploitative.

Are There Gender Differences in Sugar Babies?

Although there is little research on the topic, sugar dating has become a cultural phenomenon that has grown throughout the past decade. The relationship between an older man (the sugar daddy) and a younger woman ( the sugar baby) typically proceeds differently than relationships between sugar mommas and their male sugar babies. The critical difference is in regards to intercourse.

It is more common to see a sugar daddy/female sugar baby relationship focus on sexual relations, while sugar momma/male sugar baby relationships are more about developing a nurturing relationship. Male sugar babies typically describe their interactions with sugar mommas as regular relationships where the partner happens to be a little bit older and have a higher socioeconomic status.

How is Sugar Dating Advertised?Sugar Dating: What are the Dangers of this Type of Arrangement? (1)

Sugar dating almost exclusively originates through online means of communication. There are websites and dating applications that promote sugar babies and daddies/mommas to come together to form relationships. They also include paid advertisem*nts, which can be both traditional and digital. Examples of both forms of communication include:

  • Billboards that have sayings such as “Happy 18th Birthday! Meet your New Daddy.”
  • Google advertisem*nts that result from searching up “sugar daddy” or a variant of that phrase.
  • Commercials targeting young, attractive women with the headline “Sugar Baby University: Saying goodbye to college debt and hello to a higher class education.”
  • Incentives to college students for joining their site, such as having access to a premium account for free.

One reason why sugar dating has become so popular online is that it is easier to meet a large variety of individuals online as opposed to in person. In addition, one can vet through a good amount of information about an individual in a concise profile online. Some websites/dating apps that have catered to these types of relationships include:

  • Tinder
  • SeekingArrangements
  • SugarDaddyMeet

Tinder doesn’t facilitate these types of relationships. Therefore, there is no risk to the company if their customers are engaging in the trade of sexual intercourse for material gain. Because of this, Tinder has become a popular way for individuals to engage in sugar dating relationships. Besides Tinder, other apps appear to be geared toward sugar dating specifically.

What’s the Difference Between Sugaring and Prostitution?

The difference between prostitution and sugaring is as simple as the difference between a relationship and a transaction between two people, according to those who profit from it. The glamorous lifestyle promised by sugar websites is actually a pretty dangerous lifestyle. In fact, sugaring is on the same continuum as prostitution and sex trafficking.

Although the two are very similar, there is a key difference. There is no legislation to help monitor this part of the sex industry. That means there are no protections to help sugar babies who may become victims of sexual violence at the hands of their sugar daddies.

When Can Sugar Dating Become Trafficking?

Sugar dating is becoming popular among the college scene. It’s important to recognize how sugar dating is exploitative and can become dangerous to the point of sex trafficking. To start off, it’s important to acknowledge why women in college join these types of arrangements.

Most of the time, these women are disadvantaged economically, like many women who engage in prostitution or other forms of sex work. When they enter a sugar dating arrangement, which more likely than not includes intercourse, money begins to come in, allowing them to pay their debts or take care of their family and themselves.

Once the commercial sex boundary is crossed, the person can become more vulnerable to the manipulations of the trafficker. This places the sugar daddy in the optimum position to be a trafficker. The control dynamic weighs in favor of the sugar daddy. If the sugar baby declines to do something in the “arrangement,” the sugar daddy has the absolute power not to pay the allowance until the sugar baby does whatever he requests. Situations as such are clear examples of coercion.

One experience from a trafficking survivor and survivor of sugaring, Megan Lundstrom of Avery Center for Research & Services said:

“When I met my first trafficker, I had been sugaring a couple of months at that time, and I disclosed to him that is what I was doing at the time to pay my bills. And so from there, there was really no grooming process. That boundary of engaging in commercial sex acts had already been violated. So for him, it was just establishing that trauma bond and then taking over my money. That happens commonly.”

The Carlson Law Firm Cares

Unfortunately, the reality is that any relationship in which there is an exchange of money or material provision may create a power imbalance. With The Carlson Law Firm on your team, you can take your control back.

We have a team of sexual assault attorneys that can help you out if you have been sexually assaulted. If you are a sexual assault survivor, contact us today to schedule a free and confidential consultation. We care. We can help.

Sugar Dating: What are the Dangers of this Type of Arrangement? (2024)

FAQs

Sugar Dating: What are the Dangers of this Type of Arrangement? ›

Sugar dating can involve scenarios of harassment, sexual assault, and the manipulation of financial arrangements to coerce unwanted sexual action— also known as rape.

What kind of arrangement for a sugar daddy? ›

Sugar Daddy Arrangements (SDA)

This is the most common sort of arrangement and usually features money, outings and other material gifts. It's really a real life changing experience for both the sugardaddy and sugar baby, as it can provide them with a chance to check out the world.

What to say when a sugar daddy asks what kind of arrangement you want? ›

When your sugar daddy asks what you're looking for, a direct yet tactful response could be, "I'm looking for a mutually beneficial relationship where we can enjoy each other's company, go on fun dates, and you provide financial support to help me live comfortably and focus on my studies." Additionally, you might add, " ...

Is a sugar daddy arrangement illegal? ›

It may merely occur socially between the parties, without a contractual nature. Therefore, whether a sugar dating agreement qualifies as an agreement between a prostitute and a customer depends on the exact agreement made between the parties.

What is an arrangement in dating? ›

An arrangement is a situation that may resemble a Relationship by two people being together, but it lacks the depth and essence of what a Relationship is.

What is a beneficial arrangement? ›

A mutually beneficial arrangement between two parties is one that will yield positive results for both parties involved - not just just a positive for one and a neutral for the other, but genuinely positive results for both that would not otherwise have been possible.

Can a sugar daddy sue a sugar baby? ›

If the “sugar daddy” can prove that private information their “sugar baby” disseminated caused them public embarrassment, financial harm, or emotional distress, they may be able to seek civil damages from that “sugar baby” in addition to pressing criminal charges against them.

What is a good amount to ask from a sugar daddy? ›

For the ladies wondering “If I choose PPM, how much should I ask my sugar daddy for?” We have a simple answer: most ladies get $300 for a date, but there are top sugar babies who get $500–600. But how much should a sugar daddy pay per month? Monthly allowances usually vary from $1,000 to $5,000.

How do sugar daddies usually pay? ›

How do sugar daddies send money? Sugar daddies may claim to send money via popular payment apps. Examples of these include Venmo, PayPal, and Cash App sugar daddy scams. In other cases, the sugar daddy may say that they will send you a check or cash in the mail.

What do sugar daddies ask for in return? ›

As you can see, while money is certainly a motivation, sugar daddies want more than just a transactional relationship. They're looking for chemistry, connection, and companionship. Give them that, and the world can be your oyster.

Is there any risks with sugar daddies? ›

What's problematic about the business model is that it is typically targeted to younger, low-income individuals that may be looking for financial assistance. However, the danger of situations as such is that they often lead to a variety of forms of manipulation and sexual exploitation.

How long do sugar relationships last? ›

Is it purely financial, or do you crave something more organic? Do you tend to get needy? The sugar relationship is nontraditional in all its forms. Typically, it only lasts a few months.

How do you know if a sugar daddy is scamming you? ›

Financial requests: His messages become pushy or even aggressive. The fake sugar daddy wants you to send him money now. Asking for money under any pretense is a huge red flag. A real sugar daddy will never ask you for money.

What is the arrangement in sugar dating? ›

Sugar dating arrangements involve an older partner ("sugar daddy/mommy") who provides financial support to a younger partner ("sugar baby") in exchange for intimacy.

Is seeking arrangement sugar daddy? ›

The cause of Seeking Arrangement is a bit of a tricky one. From what I understand, it is intended as a platform for so-known as "sugar relationships" - in which typically older, wealthier individuals (the "sugar daddies/mommies") offer economic help to more youthful "sugar infants" in alternate for companionship.

What is the sugar baby contract? ›

A sugar daddy contract usually stipulates how much the sugars baby will be paid each month. The deal should include how much each of the persons agrees to pay monthly and the timeframe for each payment.

How to make a sugar daddy agreement? ›

The deal should include how much each of the persons agrees to pay monthly and the timeframe for each payment. It also consists of details on set up sugar baby is definitely allowed to request expensive gift ideas on a regular basis or at the inquire of the guy.

How do I start a sugar baby arrangement? ›

Demonstrate your value. Look at yourself from the perspective of a potential sugar daddy: what can you offer to make him want to meet you? Describe the arrangement you want. Don't go into too much detail, but mention the type of arrangement you imagine: how long it lasts, how often you meet, etc.

How to negotiate arrangement with sugar daddy? ›

How to ask your sugar daddy for money or an allowance?
  1. Mention your personal goals. ...
  2. Ask him what he thinks a good allowance for you is. ...
  3. Let him know that you rely on him. ...
  4. Use your friends' situations as an example. ...
  5. Don't change the initial agreements.
Feb 29, 2024

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